The random thoughts of a new curate

Humility

I presided at my first Choral Eucharist a few weeks ago.  The choral tradition in the Cathedral is really not my background or naturally where I would worship, but I have grown to like and enjoy it in my 18 months here.  This service was, for many reasons, a humbling experience.
To ever take a service in that place is an honour - the centuries of tradition there alone makes that so.  But to do so in that service, with the full choir singing and the numbers of people there, makes it even more so.  I was quite nervous before the service and practiced the singing and movements numerous times.  Add to this that I was stood next to the Dean of the Cathedral, a man who was ordained before I was born, and I felt even more pressure!
The whole experience was great, my nerves were settled quickly - on face value by the music and its beauty, but on a deeper level God was clearly at play.
The humbling feeling of the service is centralised in one moment.  As a deacon last year, whenever I read the Gospel, I would bow before the celebrant and receive a blessing from him before reading.  As the celebrant at this service, I was to give that blessing, and it was the Dean who was the deacon at the service.  Me, a man ordained less than 2 years, giving a blessing to man ordained over a third of a century.  I was partly humbled because of the fact the Dean requested the blessing - the reason is obvious!
The other reason was because I wasn’t giving the blessing due to experience, but due to my role.  It was the deacon asking the celebrant for a blessing, regardless of any other factor.  This is a simple summation of a massive part of the Christian faith - I don’t serve at the Cathedral because of any gift or talent.  I’m not more deserving of this than others, I’m there by the grace of God, and to serve in any other church would be as much of a blessing as I would be serving God.  We are blessed to receive anything at all from God, let alone forgiveness, His love, and the gift of eternal life.  We haven’t earned that, it’s a gift completely from God, completely undeserving - that’s grace.

Moved by Scripture (Isaiah 40:18-31 to be specific!)

For Evensong tonight I was asked to do the first reading (from the Old Testament).  Nothing abnormal about this, and I quite enjoy reading the Scriptures, especially when it’s from Isaiah.  This time though, the passage really got to me - I really felt something when reading it.  Unfortunately it can be quite rare now that I am moved this way by Scripture (I’m afraid I must have let the regular reading of it to allow it to become ‘normal’), but it was wonderful.

The passage was so full of boldness and pride in God - something the Church here in the West can stay well away from.  It is wonderful to hear such bold words describing God, daring someone to compare anyone or anything with Him.  Human made things come nowhere near - how can they?!  They are made by humans, who in turn were made by God! 

The Church is not called to be timid, apologising to all for what we believe - we should be proud of God, of what we believe.  I’ve been reading Tom Wright recently and he says that instead of allowing the world to focus on how people have abused the name of God, and Jesus Christ, in various atrocities, the Church should stand up and be proud of Christians who have achieved great things for the good of the whole world - William Wilberforce, Martin Luther King, Mother Theresa - people who did what they did because of their faith, because of what they felt God wanted them to do.

I’m not saying we ignore the atrocities, but they weren’t sanctioned by God, He didn’t want them.  I know God’s character (I’ve been a Christian for many years), and He would be proud of Wilberforce, King and Mother Theresa and we should be proud of Him in turn, and tell the world why - ‘He does not faint or grow weary;
 his understanding is unsearchable. 
He gives power to the faint,
 and strengthens the powerless. 
Even youths will faint and be weary,
 and the young will fall exhausted; 
but those who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength,
 they shall mount up with wings like eagles,
 they shall run and not be weary,
 they shall walk and not faint.’ (Isaiah 40:28b-31) - Praise the Lord!

Dignified death?

I heard a couple in the Cathedral the other day discussing a crucifix that stands on one of the altars.  They clearly weren’t happy with it, and it turned out that their reason for being unhappy was that Jesus was showing too much pain, and wasn’t ‘dignified’ enough.
I was astounded, and to be honest a bit disgusted.  Could our sanitised, western understanding of the life of Christ really have taken someone so far from the truth?  It seems so.  For me two of the many points of Jesus’s death, and what led up to it, was that He wasn’t meant to be dignified, and He wasn’t meant to go through it painlessly.  He was fighting the ultimate battle - taking on Satan himself, and freeing humanity from the power of death and sin.  If it was an easy fight, one that didn’t require much pain, suffering, or loss of dignity, wouldn’t God have sent someone lesser to take it on?  Why bother sending His one and only Son?!  Jesus took on our sin, all of it - that would have been shameful beyond description.  He was the Son of God, He gave up His heavenly throne to be on this earth, and yet He took on our dirtiest and most disgusting wrongdoings.  Also, the humiliation He suffered on His way to the crucifixion - that was part of the Roman way, and the desire of those Jesus angered, those who refused to belief in Him.
This makes the whole thing more astounding, more moving.  God was so determined to solve the problem of our sin, the damage it was causing us, and our relationship with Him, that He gave Jesus to face that.  Jesus was so willing to serve God that He went through it.  This is how much we are loved by God, how much we mean to Him.
I don’t take pleasure in the pain Jesus went through, I don’t like that Jesus was stripped of His dignity.  However, I know there was no other way.
As horrible as the death of our Lord was, as painful, as humiliating, it did achieve a great victory - death was defeated, and our eternal salvation was won.  That is why Jesus willingly went through it - for us, and for our salvation.

Come and hear how John came to faith through Morris Dancing*

*names have been changed, but shockingly the context hasn’t!

It’s been a long time since I last wrote here, so I thought I’d start with something I’ve been thinking about for a while.
There was a mission held in the Benefice (a group of churches placed together) I serve in a few months ago.  The final event was a bring and share meal with the above tag line.  I never went to the evening (I was busy), so I can’t comment on the actual content, but the line made me think when I saw it.  It’s hard, in a way, for me to comment objectively on whether the ‘teaser’ line caught anyone’s attention as I’m a Christian and have been most of my life, and so may not truly understand whether this would attract any non-Christians to find out more, but I’m going to try to!
My issue with the tagline is that this evening was part of a mission, which to my mind is to reach out to non-Christians, to make Christianity attractive.  For me this fits into what the world sees the Church as - old-fashioned, not fun and irrelevant.  In that case, what is it’s benefit, it’s purpose?  If I’m not attracted to it, who will be?  I’m a Christian, I enjoy hearing about how others came to faith, learning from their stories.  Also I’m not a particularly ‘cool’ or ‘hip’ person, or whatever the current word is (and this sentence is probably enough to prove that itself!), and yet this still seems too ‘un-cool’ to me, or possibly completely unattractive. 

I think there’s a wider issue here also -  What does the Church see as mission, or how to do it? 
I am quite traditional in how I express my faith and have always been that way (regardless of what Vicar Factory says!) and I don’t believe the Church needs to completely overhaul itself for the ‘new’ and ‘modern’ society, but I do think we have to be more realistic in how we communicate the faith of Jesus Christ.  I wouldn’t approach a recovering drug addict who is living on the street having been rejected by his family and tell him that Christ can help those who suffer, and I know this as I have experienced suffering in my life (I may have suffered, but nothing compared to that); equally I wouldn’t go to a skate park and pretend to understand their culture and lives by dressing up in skater gear in order to reach out to them - I’d look like an idiot and not do any good for anyone, especially Jesus.  I think this is the problem here - who is going to be attracted by this topic? Whose head will be turned at the sound or sight of Morris dancing?  Some, possibly, but not many!

The Church is called to make disciples of all nations (as Jesus himself tells us in what we call the ‘Great Commission’), and fair play to this organisation for fulfilling that part of their Christian duty.  That’s not enough though, just trying.  It’s got to be done properly, or at least to the best of our ability.

I do also recognise me, as a leader of the church, as being responsible for stirring up the people of God and not only encouraging them to witness to the world, and be mission-minded, but to do it well.  It’s not as if we don’t have good examples (the whole Bible gives us good and bad, both equally valuable to learn from), so we have no excuse really.  That and the fact we are doing God’s work, so chances are He’ll give us a helping hand or two!
We as a Church need to know our limitations - our strengths and weaknesses - and use them wisely for our God.  I don’t think we’ve got to change the message, just how we communicate it - it’s stayed the same for 2000 years and has been gathering faithful disciples all that time, so let’s make it clearer!

tumblrbot asked: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE INANIMATE OBJECT?

between my iPhone, laptop and TV!

Defining moments of ministry…

A few weeks ago I was called by a colleague telling me that there was flooding in part of the parish. So many things went through my mind - would this be a defining moment of the community - all pulling together to help those in need? Would this really push my ministry forward - being seen by the local people getting stuck in for hours helping? I drove down, kitted out in my waterproofs ready for whatever I faced. As I arrived the fire brigade were there and I quickly learned that it was a blocked drain - all was safe! I ended up purely asking if I could help and not being needed. If I’m honest, part of me felt an anti-climax that there was no major flooding! On the plus side I was seen to want to help and was willing to do just that. In that particular situation I’m not sure I could have done any more as a deacon or a Christian!

Still though, I’m sure on a personal level that will be a defining moment of my ministry!!

A sermon (Jonah 3:10-4:11)

Thought I’d put a sermon up - linked in a bit with previous post.

I’m happy to receive any feedback!

Jonah 3:10-4:11

‘You are a gracious God and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love’

Our Old Testament passage tonight is about repentance and forgiveness. These are hard issues for our modern society to accept in many ways. The problem our society has with these issues is not new, in fact we see Jonah raising the same concern. The problem is mainly centred around punishment and the desire for a ‘just’ sentence. Before dealing with this, I want to look at the first verse of our reading where it says ‘God changed his mind’ about Nineveh. I think this is slightly misleading, or at least it doesn’t tell the full story. For me this about the Ninevites’ acceptance of God’s guidance in their lives. God explained to the people, through Jonah, that the lives they were living were wrong and went against His commandments. The Ninevites listened to God’s word and repented, they changed their ways. Crucially they did what Jonah didn’t - God spoke and they acted according to God’s word, turning towards Him - Jonah turned away from God. What’s interesting, at least to me, is that the Hebrew understanding of repentance uses two verbs - to return and to feel sorrow. The Greek (which obviously wasn’t used for Jonah, but is relevant for us!) means literally after/behind one’s mind, or to think differently after. The Greek example is exactly what the Ninevites did - they turned their lives around. They changed the focus of their lives from selfishness, personal gain and greed to God. I believe this answers the concern of our modern society. To look at the Hebrew understanding, repentance is not just the act of saying sorry. Our society rightly struggles with the idea of someone doing something wrong, saying sorry and then getting away with it - this is not what repentance is about, and that’s the mistake people can often make. To explain this we can look to the example of Jonathan Aitken. The ex-Member of Parliament was jailed for perjury and while in prison he became a Christian and repented of his sins. However, he wasn’t freed until his sentence was served. He was forgiven by God the second he repented, but he was still dealing with the consequences of his sin - a prison sentence for breaking the law. Regardless of our repentance we must always deal with the consequences of our sins.

Repentance encompasses far more than just saying sorry, and that’s why repentance and forgiveness are so powerful. To ask for forgiveness you must first admit that you need forgiving, thus admitting your own personal guilt. The next step is changing, firstly moving away from the sin, or the temptation, and then, more importantly and more challenging, moving away from the guilt and accepting God’s forgiveness.
There are times when accepting our guilt is all too easy and we can then use it as a weapon against ourselves. This is as much against the will of God as non-repentance. To not accept forgiveness, or to cling on to our guilt, is to not acknowledge God’s act in forgiving. Once forgiven the reason we have confidence to move away from our guilt is given to us in Micah. We are told that God will ‘cast all our sins into the depths of the sea’. We know that God won’t remind us of our failures - He will help us look forward, learning from our mistakes. It is important that we remember the forgiveness, but not dwell on the guilt of our actions - that can lead to bitterness and depression. But by not remembering the forgiveness we can easily turn back to our former sinful ways.
Looking back to Jonah, and the concern he shares with our modern society, we see the flaw in his complaint to God. He doesn’t see the Ninevites as deserving God’s forgiveness, or in society’s terms deserving to escape punishment. There is clear similarity here with the parable of the Prodigal Son told by Jesus. Jonah is the son who stayed on the farm. He complains when he sees his sinful brother return forgiven, instead of rejoicing with his father for his brother’s repentance and return to the right path. If we’re not careful we can become that elder brother, or Jonah. Instead of rejoicing that another human being has turned their lives towards God, we can become bitter that we are not receiving the attention, or that they took the ‘easy’ way out. That is Jonah’s problem.
In the book of Jonah we know that he has received ample forgiveness from God. Jonah knew God’s love and compassion and yet he still knowingly and willingly ran away from God. God still forgave him. But when God is forgiving someone else, Jonah can’t accept it. This is where we come to a wonderfully confused and confusing quote from Jonah - is he worshipping God or complaining? Jonah says ‘That is why I fled to Tarshish at the beginning; for I knew that you are a gracious God and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love, and ready to relent from punishing.’ Here we see the hypocrisy of Jonah, the elder son in the parable, and many Christians - They are happy to accept forgiveness for themselves, but can be suspicious of others, or disagree that they are worthy of God’s grace. This makes no sense, because none of us are worthy of God’s forgiveness - that’s the point! That’s why so many people are astounded by the concept, and many others can’t believe it. I’ve heard grace and mercy explained as God giving us what we don’t deserve and God not giving us what we do deserve. Grace is receiving from God what we don’t deserve (forgiveness), and mercy is not receiving from God what we do deserve (punishment for our sins). If we have accepted forgiveness and gained from it, who are we to tell God who can have it, and who can’t?! Jonah, a mere human being, has the audacity to tell God what to do - that is pure arrogance.
Already tonight we have prayed that God forgives us our trespasses ‘as we forgive them that trespass against us’. So we receive forgiveness, we then must forgive others, and surely that means accepting that other people will receive forgiveness. I do admit that this is easier said than done!
What we must remember is that God created everything and therefore He cares for everything. He loves all His children and wants us all to worship Him and love Him. Part of our calling as Christians is to help that - by our words and our actions. We can talk of what God has done in our lives - the times He has strengthened us; the times He has blessed us; the times He has performed miracles in our lives. We can also live lives of forgiven people, freed from the power of sin and death. To fully do this, we must be willing and able to accept that God will forgive all who come to Him in repentance. Only then will we fully understand why forgiveness was and is a counter cultural, life changing, and world changing concept.

Give Jesus all the glory, all the time

I heard a wonderful statement in a sermon a few weeks ago. Well I heard two really - one was the title of this blog, and the second was ‘no Christian worth their salt should ever say “I came because I knew you were speaking”’. The reason we as Christians shouldn’t say this is that subtly, it takes the focus away from God. We might think, ‘what’s wrong with praising someone’s ability?’, but it’s only a small step from this to calling a church ‘So-and-so’s church’ as if the minister has some ownership over it. We should say “I came because I admire what God is doing through you”.
I appreciate that this sounds quite finicky and minor, but if we aren’t aware of these so-called small issues, then we end up having to deal with larger problems down the line.
Also, to not use this phrase are we ignoring our own ability? Simply put - no! 1Chronicles 10:14 says - ‘For all things come from you, and of your own have we given you’. I love this verse. Firstly we get everything from God - nothing we own or can do comes from another source. Secondly, anything we give back to God (worship and praise) comes from Him and His strength. For me that is freeing. I can’t give anything to God that is worthy of His praise - my life is too full of weaknesses and failings to do that. But, God gives me enough so that I can worthily praise Him.
By being strengthened by God we are able to give glory to God and Jesus, all the time. And let’s face it, that’s the whole point. The meaning of life is God and giving Him the praise due to His name, how wonderful that we can do that, only because God enables us to.
The flip-side to this is that I heard and awful sermon the other day telling me that the book of Jonah was all about love. Part of me agrees, but it’s about so much more too - repentance, judgment, mercy and grace. The wonderful thing about God is that these themes can all work together in Him - despite the worldly temptation to say they don’t. God allows repentance because He loves us; He judges because He love us, and He is merciful and graceful because He loves us. If we lived in a world where we could do what we like whenever we liked without any consequences, we would not know the joy of forgiveness. Because God has rules, and thus judges, we know how He has been merciful, we truly understand and appreciate how we have been forgiven, and we truly appreciate the importance and relevance of forgiveness. All this leads to us being a repenting, forgiven, worshipping people - just what God wants and the least He deserves from us.

Real life ministry

I’ve always been aware that my time at theological college didn’t train me for everything, but I am beginning to realise just how much that is true!

I have recently had an encounter with someone after a church service. They asked to speak to me, and explained that they struggled with their faith. The first thing that struck me about this encounter was the importance to be honest, despite the risk. I was asked whether I believed if Jonah’s story was true, or just a story. I hesitated slightly, trying to think what I believed! I tried to trust God and answered ‘Yes’. To me not believing this is harder, and more dangerous. If we doubt this, what about Jesus’ miracles. I’m not saying I believe the whole Old Testament happened exactly as it says (I’m not getting involved in the Creation account, at least not here and now!), but certain parts must.

The second thing that came from the discussion was how we perceive things. The person then challenged me on why we don’t see such miracles today. For me, they do happen, we just look at them from a secular viewpoint. Babies are born at 20 weeks, weighing practically nothing and yet they survive; people have regained their sight with no medical explanation, or cancerous growths just disappear; one girl was given a heart transplant when she was a baby. Later on (over 10 years later) her original heart started beating again, all by itself (they’d transplanted the heart next to the old one) - this was in the news and a close friend knows the child. To some this is modern medicine, but where does modern medicine come from? Where do the doctors get their wisdom from? Why can’t God be involved?!

People can say, and do, that Jonah never existed, or he never got swallowed by a large fish - that’s the easy solution. Why not be brave and admit that he did exist, and God did perform such a miracle. Be brave enough to deal with that. To take this further - Jesus did exist, He did perfome miracles, He did heal the sick and raise the dead to life - be brave enough to admit that, and then deal with the consequences. It’s scary, but wonderfully freeing. It results in a faith in Jesus Christ - He’s healed more people than any doctor will, and freed more people than can be counted.

We need to start looking at things differently - see the blessings around us - health, life, family, friends - they are there, we just need to look harder!

emotions and funerals

During the 18 months before ordination I attended four funerals all of which forced me deal with different types of loss - some incredibly sudden, some more devastating than others, and some with a tinge of relief that the suffering of the person was over. In all the services I was aware of the limited time I had to deal with these occasions purely as a mourner and not a minister. I have since attended my first funeral since becoming a deacon. I was struck by two things in the service. Firstly was the sight of the mourners.

I know it’s a cliché, but I was more affected by the sight of the men crying than the women. Seeing the young men in the congregation weeping uncontrollably was quite moving. Somehow this spoke more to me about the sense of loss felt. I don’t think it was necessarily seeing men cry, but the clear attempts they made to not cry, and the emotion forcing its way through. Even from afar I could tell that they were trying to keep it all in, and yet their emotions were so strong that this was futile. This actually made me feel quite positive, in that such strong love was felt for the deceased by so many people, even people who may not know how to express that love.

The second thing that struck me was more personal - the awareness of my emotions. Despite my tendency towards logic I am quite an emotional person; in fact my wife has described me as logically emotional - whatever that means! I had always wondered how exactly I would deal with my emotions in funerals. For this funeral, at least, I was highly aware of my feelings, but at the same time I felt in complete control of them. It may sound quite tacky and twee, but the best way of describing it that I can think of is that my emotions were behind glass. I was aware of my sympathy for the family and friends of the deceased, and of my own sadness at the loss of a human being. I hope this was God helping me to mourn with the mourners - for me, an important part of Christian ministry. I think it’s important for emotions to be part of the ministry, especially when dealing with bereavement - how can we be a loving people with no emotions?! However it is important that we are strong for those we are serving. I have heard of a minister who was so filled with emotion during a visit with a bereaved family that he was comforted by the family. How true this is, I don’t know, but it raises an interesting point on how we deal with our emotions. It was important that I was in control of my emotions during the service - to be weeping uncontrollably myself would be ridiculous and a flaw in my ministry at that time.
Jesus did feel emotion - he wept at the death of Lazarus - but he comforted the mourners in other ways, not by weeping with them. We are to be strong for the bereaved, aware of their emotions (and ours), but we are to support them in their own grieving process.

I am aware that this will not always be the case, I will not always be able to control my emotions, or to put it in a better way, God will not always want my emotions to be so distant. There will be a service (in fact many I’m sure) that will affect me so deeply that I won’t be able to hold my tears in. When that service comes, I will have to rely on God more and trust that He can deal with the situation, and with me, and that His will in that situation is done for His glory.